Algebra, Bad Lunch, and Infidelity
by Nicolette C-137
Summary: Throwback to high school. Randal convinces Dante to accompany him in crashing Rick Derris' party, ruining Caitlin's plans of hooking up with Rick. Alyssa secretly likes Caitlin. Silent Bob is a wallflower, and Jay is just obnoxious.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of the View Askewniverse.**

* * *

"I heard there's gonna be a party at Rick Derris', tonight." Randal adjusted his backwards hat, smacking away on his wad of gum, as he leaned against the machine that Dante was currently positioned in front of. "We should go." As much as Randal hated people, he loved social gatherings, and it wasn't like he and Dante had anything better to do, that Friday, than hang out at the arcade.

"We weren't invited," Dante reminded his friend, without taking his eyes off the game he was playing.

"So?"

"So, _we weren't invited,_ " he repeated with more emphasis, as though that somehow furthered his argument.

"So, we crash," Randal said obviously, adjusting his backwards hat. He blew a giant bubble with his gum, which popped loudly, breaking Dante's concentration.

"Shit, you made me lose my game." He sighed, inserting four more tokens into their slot.

"It's not _my_ fault you suck."

"Will you let me concentrate?!"

"If you'll crash Rick Derris' party with me."

"Fine," Dante caved, as he always did.

* * *

In a shady corner of the dimly-lit room, Silent Bob was leaned against the wall, quietly chain-smoking, while Jay obnoxiously hit on the surrounding girls. "'Sup, sluts." Jay nodded at the pair headed toward them—a curly-haired brunette in a black pinafore dress, and a tomboyish blonde, wearing a leather jacket over a denim jacket—not entirely wrong in using the derogatory and sexist term. "Wanna take this party upstairs?" He gestured upward, referring to the bedrooms on the second floor, as he passed a joint to the brunette.

"No, thanks," Caitlin replied in her snarky tone, pausing to take a hit, "the weed will suffice."

"Whattaya say, Finger Cuffs?" Jay wiggled his eyebrows at Alyssa, who accepted the joint from Caitlin. _"You're_ into that double-stuffed shit."

Alyssa rolled her eyes, but was unable to suppress a grin; laughing inwardly. Jay was just too funny to be angry with. "Actually, I'm hoping to get some pussy myself." She nudged his arm with her elbow, taking a hit, before passing the joint back to him.

"Oh, yeah?" Jay raised his eyebrows. "Yo, why don't _you's_ two hook up?" He glanced back and forth between Alyssa and Caitlin, nodding absently, and wearing a smirk that suggested he was vividly imagining that scenario. "Go ahead, give me an' Lunch Box a li'l kiss." Alyssa looked curiously—and maybe somewhat hopefully—toward Caitlin, who merely rolled her eyes; appearing to freeze up, as she cast her gaze—which Alyssa followed—toward the crowded foyer, where her boyfriend was reluctantly following his best friend through the front door.

"I didn't expect the dynamic duo to be here. They usually spend their nights at the arcade, arguing about Star Wars."

"What's the big deal?"

"I'm supposed to hook up with Rick."

"Shit."

"Maybe I can sneak upstairs, and... _Damn,_ he just saw me." Alyssa watched as the guys weaved their way through the crowd; impressed by how easily Caitlin faked enthusiasm at their arrival. "Hey, babe." She leaned in, and kissed Dante's cheek. "Randal," she greeted the redhead less enthusiastically.

"Hey, Caitlin," Randal smirked sardonically, preparing to rip into her, "I'm surprised to see you're keeping it in your pants." He knew she would've probably cheated on Dante, had Randal not convinced him to crash. "Or, have you already slept with half the percentage of male partygoers?"

"Yeah, we just had an orgy, right here, in the living room," Caitlin said sarcastically, "and finished just in time, before you walked in." Dante rolled his eyes, pushing her past infidelities to the back of his mind, as he wrapped an arm around her waist. They proceeded to make-out, arousing Jay, but making everyone else slightly uncomfortable. Alyssa was particularly jealous.

"Get a room," Randal said disgustedly.

"Maybe, we _will._ " Dante's eyes widened at Caitlin's reply. She polished off her beer, and handed the empty bottle to a broken-hearted Alyssa, before grabbing Dante's hand, and leading him toward the staircase.

"I need another drink," Alyssa quipped, once they were out of sight. "And a smoke." She turned to Silent Bob. "Can I bum one'a those?" He gave her a cigarette, and lit it for her. "Thanks."


End file.
